daughter's address

[karenmac60]

My ex has been filling out some official forms on behalf of our daughter, including a passport application. But on them all he has used his own address as her address even though she lives with me. He has also put himself down as her primary carer and me as a backup emergency contact (only giving my mobile number). I pointed out to him that this might not actually be legal as they are official forms and should really have her own address, but he has said I'm just being petty and looking for an excuse to criticise him. ( Incidentally, the forms are for a school trip to Eurodisney, which he booked and paid for without me knowing anything about it which I'm not too pleased about either). Does anyone know the legalities of using an address that isn't actually your place of residence on official forms? We live in Scotland.

[karenmac60]

Also, when we divorced there was no custody agreement made as such - could he then use the fact that he has put himself on these forms to insinuate himself into that role as it were? Like if he decided to go for full custody, would these official forms go in his favour?

[boxtops]

The problem I can see is that if anything is amiss when your daughter is away, it'll be him they contact. Not familiar with Scottish law on custody-type topics, but I'd say the forms are not accurate and do form the basis on which the passport will be issued, and therefore will be mailed to him at his address. I don't think it's petty, it needs to be accurate.

[karenmac60]

Thanks Boxtops. That was my point to him - he told me to go and have a wee lie down. It's so infuriating!

[sherrardk]

If he'd told me to have 'wee lie down' he'd be having a 'wee lie down' after I'd hit him. Has he ever been involved in any other 'official' things? If not, I wouldn't be happy about him getting all officious out of the blue.

[karenmac60]

That's him all over Pinki, patronising and arrogant. He is never wrong and if I point out anything like this then he thinks it is just to make him look bad or have an excuse to criticise him. I feel like I'm banging my head off a brick wall with him and he just does whatever he wants with her without consulting me or giving me a say.

[karenmac60]

Not really Sherrard, but in the past few months he's managed to accumulate things like her birth certificate and now a passport - it makes me wonder what he's up to...

[sherrardk]

Just checked the IPS website, does your ex have your daughter's birth certificate? It's needed to support the application.

[sherrardk]

Sorry, cross posted. I am naturally suspicious and I would be wondering too.

[society]

Karen, is it possible for you to file for the passport? If so, then do it and submit it before him. Then let him know...

I know it's sneaky and underhand but what EX is doing doesn't sound kosher.

[Prudie]

Karen not meaning to worry you but keep alert to things like this because I was once in a very similar situation with my ex and my daughter. After the divorce there were no formal custody agreement and she spent her time 50-50 between us (we only lived a mile apart). Slowly he did things like change her address at the surgery to his, told her school he was entirely responsible for her education (which I had the shame and horror of finding out when told by the head at parent's evening) and somehow managed to get child benefit changed so it was paid to him all with me letting him do it because I was such a mouse. Not long after he met someone else and then he went for full custody. Although he didn't get it, it was the most horrendous experience of my life. I'm sure you can fight better than I could at the time. Good luck

[karenmac60]

He's already got the passport - I only discovered tonight when my daughter brought forms for her school trip back from his and there's a passport number on it. He has also taken to his dr's recently even though she is registered at my surgery and has been since she was born. He treats me like a glorified babysitter and I've had enough of it. That is quite worrying what you are saying Prudie - I think I'll need to have a word with the school and CAB to nip this in the bud.

[karenmac60]

This is just the tip of the iceberg Pinki.

[sherrardk]

Hi Karen - sorry if we've all got you worried but probably best to be proactive about it all just in case it is the worse case scenario. It would be great if he has suddenly decided to step up to the plate but it seems highly unlikely. Hope you get it all sorted out (and that your daugher enjoys her trip to Eurodisney - hope he's paying for it). x

[society]

Don't wait too long to do that Karen. The more you delay, the more things he might do without your approval.

[society]

Geez Pinki, I was just about to suggest that. :-)

[karenmac60]

Sherrard, his parents have paid for it and I'll be expected to provide the spending money and do all the running about - but he'll get all the brownie points cos he decided she could go. I'm sure she'll have a ball though :)
Society, I'll get onto it tomorrow.
Pinki, she never see this side of her dad and won't hear a word against him - he is always very careful to have a go when she's not around, and I wouldn't want to put her in the position where she feels she's taking sides. She's 14 btw