women

[purplefish]

does it shock anybody else how greedy and selfish some women are? i have read posts on here ranging from girlfriends wanting prom dresses to some poor blokes fiancee expecting him to spend 3/4 to his entire annual salary on a wedding ring, my boyfriend says i'm too nice and i'm starting to believe him (although i'm not really that nice at all) as i would never dream of expecting my boyfriend to spend his money on something i wanted, except for christmas and birthday presents, but even then i only want something small as its his money and he should spend it on himself. anyway my point is do other people think some (if not most) women are incredibly greedy and selfish?? i find it shocking and appalling, i really do and i don't want to be tarred with the same brush as these selfish horrible women :o(

[MissCommando]

I don't know any women like that - if I go out with my bf, I always pay my way. . .I hate it when women expect the men to pay.  I mean, if they want to hold doors open for us, then that's fine by me  lol.  It's the 21st century now and women like to be more independent.  Maybe what you're saying applies to the olden days when that was the norm but not now!

[nicola_red]

I pay my way too but who doesn't like to be spoiled really?  It's silly to pretend you don't like presents etc, regardless of your gender.  I think the 3/4 salary on an engagement ring comment was somewhat of a joke if I remember that thread rightly - the actual tradition is a month's salary, and many women commented that they wouldn't expect that.  My bf did spend a month's salary on mine though, and I'm not ashamed to say it made me very happy!

[kick3m0n]

I must admit, I don't actually know any of these shallow selfish money grabbers.....they're just not the kind of people I'd be friends with.  In a Pickle is spot on....you can't generalise based on a few idiots.

We got engaged a few years ago and we spent the equivalent of one months salary.   Why the h3ll should any good partnership start with the guy spending a fortune on a piece of jewellery?  I just don't get that whole out-dated thing.  Yes, we all like to be spoiled occasionally, but that cuts both ways.  We see ourselves as equals in this relationship, and always have, so I just can't relate to these pathetic specimens who take their partners (male or female) for a ride, be it financially or otherwise.  That said, if you act like a doormat, you'll get stepped on!!!

[Dark Angel]

My husband spent only a small fraction of his salary on my wedding and engagement rings, as he bought them overseas (i.e. not in UK) I was quite happy with that.

Personally I think its better to spend on a house, car or something that makes your life more comfortable than spend on jewellery. Gifts are fine, but I wouldn't expect anybody to spend their whole months salary on me.

[RevShirls]

I agree with you, purplefish. I think it extends to some men too. I think we're all maybe used to being a bit too pampered. I never ever thought I was selfish but when I was living in the UK and engaged to a guy living in Sweden I was a wee bit surprised that he just gave me a very small book as a Christmas present. I didn't want him to spend a fortune but I thought he might have spent over �10. Of course, I never said. Having moved to Sweden (after I married my guy) I realise that it is more the norm here for people to give small present (tokens of affection) and I really like this. My engagement ring and wedding ring are Scottish (Celtic design - engagement ring has an amethyst) and the total cost was under �150. They are absolutely beautiful and have often been admired (here in Sweden and in Scotland). My husband often comes home with small gifts for me or sends funny or romantic e-mails to me during the day and that to me is worth much more than anything.

[ICEMANSAV]

Fraid it t'was no joke!

[Octavius]

I wouldn't necessarily say that all women are greedy and selfish, although I know a few who (are single!) believe that men should spend money on them and buy them gifts constantly.

Mostly I have found that a lot of women are materialistic (beyond their means), wanting their boyfreineds to buy things that they just can't afford (keeping up with the Jones') but then when I hear about my mates buying X-boxes and games that cost �40 plus, and the newest gadgets on the market all the time I just wonder whether any of us are all that different.

I have a nice house and a very nice car, does that make mne materialistic?....maybe.

[purplefish]

thanks for all your replies, i would just like to apologise if i offended any of you nice people, it wasn't intentional.

[purplefish]

one other thing.....ICEMANSAV, is your fiancee going to be spending much on your wedding ring?

just wondering......

[Miss Zippy]

Of course it is greedy and selfish if one person in a relationship (male or female) expects their partner to shower them with expensive gifts, if (a) their partner cannot afford to and (b) that person does not reciprocate (their means allowing). We can�t really judge other people as we don�t know what goes on in a relationship. I had (we split, but nothing to do with me being a greedy person!!) an expensive engagement ring (which I was actually embarrassed about) and to an outsider who didn�t know me it might look like I was spoilt but I did spoil my ex (as I do my current bf) by paying for holidays and buying a �weekend� car for joint use. There are always going to be men and women out there who are just in a relationship for what they can get, whether it�s material gain or otherwise, but in a healthy, loving relationship it is give and take. Insecure types or those in a rocky relationship might judge the worth of their relationship by the value of the gifts they receive perhaps.

[ICEMANSAV]

I doubt it purple fish!! , She has got the idea from desperate housewives or footballers wives i think, don't worry it will be 1/2 year tops!!

[LordyGeordie]

yes women are very selfish. our lass always complains about me leaving the seat up. when was the last time you heard a man complain because she left the seat down - never

and don't get me started on headaches...

[FP]

I never had an engagement ring :o( .  We were both broke and it didn't seem necessary.  We have been married 33 years and buy each other gifts, but neither of us has ever 'expected' expensive presents.

[netibiza]

We didn't get engaged until we had been married for 6yrs as we couldn't afford one.  When we sold our first house we became" invested" as my diamond ring was an investment.  I certainly don't expect my husband toshower me with gifts - he was the one man who wouldn't so I married him!!

[dirtyharriet]

I don't think most women are greedy and selfish, I think some people have too much time on their hands to make judgemental comments about other people they haven't even met.

Most women I have met are kind and considerate and usually put themselves last, putting their husbands and kids first.

I'd be interested to hear why you think you are better than these poor women you have passed judgement on.

For the record my partner doesn't work so I pay for everything including my own rings, he also gets spoilt rotten all year round because I like buying presents for people.

[purplefish]

dirtyharriet firstly I would like to say, I did not say most women were greedy and selfish, I said some if not most, I said this for the reason that most of the women I know or have encountered are greedy and selfish, there are also women on here or partners of these women that have shown that they are this way, so it would not surprise me if most women were like that.

Maybe I do have too much time on my hands to make judgemental comments on people I haven't met, but everybody judges people they haven't met at sometime or another, and the women who give me reason to make this judgement, give me and others I know who use this site, reason to. they give the impression that they are greedy/selfish and i expect other people think they are too, its just that I choose to air my views while others don't.

I don't think I'm better than anyone, but these "poor women" certainly aren't that.

[indian]

What about when one partner buys an expensive gift and the other feels they have to spend the same amount too? i know quite afew people like this. Personally i think it takes the fun out of buying anything for anyone.

[FP]

I can quite honestly say that the monetary value of a gift doesn't matter a jot to me.  My husband came home with arms full of daffodils the other evening and I can honestly say that a diamond ring wouldn't have been more appreciated!