Updated nursery rhyme

[paross]

Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece all white and whispy
Along came foot n mouth disease and now it's black and crispy

[JonnyBoy12]

Mary had a little lamb
It had a touch of cholic,
She gave it brandy twice a day,
And now it's an alcoholic.

[Filbert]

Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon
10,00 volts went up its bum
and turned its wool to nylon

[marval]

Mary had a little lamb,
The Midwife died of Shock

[Filbert]

Mary had a little lamb
the midwife was surprised

[marval]

Mary had a bionic cow,
It lived on safety pins.
And every time she milked that cow
The milk came out in tins.

[Lie-in King]

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket.
Every time the lamb got out,
Her father tried to...

...Put it back again!

That'll be me in the cellar, I suppose? :-))

[marval]

lol@Lie-in king

[Lie-in King]

Back at you marval, I like the cow one :-)

[marval]

Glad you liked it.

Mary had a little lamb
she also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
but never seen her naked

[keithlbw]

Mary had a little lamb
Her father had its mother
Which means the lamb
that Mary had , is actually her brother.

[scotman]

Mary had a little lamb:
She shot it in the head.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two bits of bread.

[denis567]

I think marval's rhyme should have read.

Mary has a little lamb,
She also has a bear,
I've often seen her little lamb.
But I've never seen her bare.

[wildwood]

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Jill, the dill, forgot her pill
and came down with a daughter.


oops, sorry. wrong rhyme. lol

[Lore]

Mary had. a little lamb,
She took it to a weddin'.
She tied it to a little tree
And kicked it's f**?in' head in.

I'm lovely really! :ol

[Jemisa]

Peter Peter

Peter, Peter wife beater
Had a wife and used to beat her,
'Till she shot him with a shot gun shell,
And sent that bastard straight to hell.
Then she sold the movie rights.
It's now a mini series on Tuesday nights.




Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For just an itty bitty.
Jill's now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.



Jack and Jill went up the hill
With a keg of brandy
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed
Now it's Jack, Jill and Andy.

jem

[fourteen85]

Mary had a little lamb
it was a little bugger
it climbed upon the table
and piddled in the sugar

[marval]

Mary had a little sheep.
It went to bed with her to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
And Mary had a little lamb!

[Brinjal]

Mary had a little lamb,
a little pork a little ham
an icecream soda topped with fizz
boy how sick our mary is.

[marval]

Mary had a little watch,
She swallowed it one day.
And so she took some caster oil
To pass the time away.
The oil didn't work.
The time just wouldn"t pass.
If you want to know what time it is,
Just look up Mary's a$$!

[Maggoty]

marvel and filbert :

Mary had a little lamb
The Doctor was surprised
But when Old MacDonald had a farm
The Doctor nearly died

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