marriage dilemma

[rsvp]

Have had a friend round here all afternoon in distress and I wonder if ABers can give better advice than me.
Very briefly, - her son has been married to person of a different culture for almost four years - there is a daughter just over two - very much loved by both. Hubby is away a lot on business. She suffered post birth depression but would not accept it and refused to seek help. She then had an affair with an ex-boyriend - hubby knew nothing - and they got divorced over this but still worked together (both shareholders in the company) - she moved out of her 'ethnic environment' to re-locate to the company offices, located within his culture - the man involved in the divorce moved too. Unbeknown to the hubby (and against the divorce conditions) ex wife moved in with child and shared house with lover. They now appear to have had a fall out and she is asking ex-hubby to try again. She admits she is suffering from depression (and this is a first) and has at last taken counselling. He is very aware that she is untrustworthy but she has at least acknowledged one of her problems (depression - never acknowledged before) She has custody of the child but he has very free access. Hubby begged, pleaded and tried his heart out to save the marriage - this didn't work. She holds all the ace cards because if she goes back to her 'home town' - it's hunfreds of miles away, he will rarely see his daughter.

[4getmenot]

whats the question?

[rsvp]

good point 4 get me not and as she (the mother) is a life long friend I lost the plot there - the question was ... should he got back and try again?

[bednobs]

i don't get it - if the ex husband wants to get back together, and she does, why don't they?
Also what kind of divorce specifies who you can and cannot live with at a future date???

[rsvp]

bednobs - sorry I didn't explain the question correctly - he loves his daughter but doesn't trust his ex-wife but she now wants to get back together - if he doesn't get back with her, she may re-locate hundreds of miles away.

[bednobs]

"Hubby begged, pleaded and tried his heart out to save the marriage"
so he wants it and she wants it, Ideal

[rsvp]

again bednobs - sorry I didn't make it clear - this is what he has problems with. He loves his child, has been torn apart by the divorce, if the e-wife relocates he will rarely see his daughter.
I realise it's difficult to make assessments from original posts - emotions can't be put in them but thanks for the input.

[bednobs]

i still don't really get it, sorry, so can't help

[askyourgran]

If he has free access to his child can't he stipulate that he should have her nearer to his home, preventing his wife from taking the child too far away. I don't know the ins and outs of this but surely there must be a limit to how far apart they must be.

[rsvp]

thanks askyourgran - but no, they live abroad and there is not stipulation on distance.

[rsvp]

thanks everyone - won't be coming back to this thread as she (the Mum) leaves for overseas tomorrrow.