Dear oh Deer

[queencharlotte]

What do you call a deer with only one eye?
No idea

What do you call a deer with only one eye and no legs?
Still no idea

Help; I need more deer jokes fror a friend of mine who runs a deer sanctuary.

[Fanriffic]

Venison. It's a little dear.

[marval]

Q: What did the doe say when she came running out of the woods?

A: I'll never do that for two bucks again.


Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

"Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something ... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah, but we're getting farther from the truck," the other added.

[emmie]

Queen Charlotte
that joke has lost the last line, its a bit rude, and not sure should tell it.

[heathfield]

My local butcher offered me eight legs of venison for £50. I thought ''That's too dear''!

[JonnyBoy12]

I was going to say that, heathfield!

[joggerjayne]

What do you call a deer with only one eye and no legs, who's being shagged by another deer?

Still f'king no idea.

[emmie]

JJ, that's the last line of QC post. It should be a deer with no eyes, hence the no idea.. old but good joke..

[puternut]

Surely queencharlotte it would be better if the one-eyed deer had no eyes?? no idea

[joggerjayne]

Yes, we've always told it as a deer with no eyes, em.

[DTCwordfan]

Three Essex girls were taking a walk in the Suffolk countryside when they came upon a line of tracks. The first Essex girl said, "Those must be deer tracks!"

The second Essex girl said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"

The third Essex girl said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"

They where still arguing ten minutes later when the London to Ipswich train hit them.

[boxtops]

earg, that's not funny, dt....

[joggerjayne]

It's "quite" funny, Boxy ...

Although I think it's an Essex Girl joke, more than a deer joke.

[DTCwordfan]

at least it is reasonbaly clean in language unlike some of the above^^^^^

[DTCwordfan]

I'll stick to the inert topic of weather stories then.

I see for down here in Cornwall, they are forecasting rain, dear....

[joggerjayne]

The rain in Cornwall falls mainly on the plains.

Err ...

[seadogg]

Last evening 7 mostly hidden deer in field below us feeding on wheat..
Tonight the harvesters been and 7 deer very conspicuous and having to work for dinner.
Joke's on the deer.

[DTCwordfan]

fattening them up seadogg, could be a nice Christmas meal in the making....need any recipes?

[seadogg]

Dont eat 'em but have little hide in the woods where they rut. Thanks anyway