Me and Mr Jones......

[ELVIS68]

I was at the football when an announcement came over the tannoy just before kick-off that said, "Could Mr Jones please contact the nearest steward.

Your wife has gone in to labour"

The bloke sat next to me said, "That's me"

I said, "Oh my God, this is going to be such a massive moment in your life"

He said, "I know ... three points here and we'll get into Europe"