Out of the blue break-up....

[sarah-london]

Ok - so a little confused here and a part of me wonders why I am posting a question as I feel I have to accept this & move on....I am in the process of this people!

Just utterly confused & guess I was wondering if there are any guys out there (although all opinions welcome) that could shed some light.

Been seeing a guy for 4 months. Has been fabulous. We've had lengthy conversations about the future & what we want from each other. Over the summer I went away for 4 weeks & he kept in constant contact, telling me how much he missed me & couldn't wait to see me. Spent a lovely day together on Sunday at the zoo....holding hands, kissing. He kept telling me he didn't want me to go home & he missed me. He was really looking forward to seeing me in a few days time. Things were perfect. I had fallen in love with him.

Then 1 day later I get a text saying 'I'm sorry, I can't see you anymore. I thought I wanted to be with someone but I prefer being single'. What The Funicular? I realise he could be flirting with other girls online but he def hasn't been seeing anyone (I'm not naive, I always think the worst). He also told me he really really enjoyed spending time with me.

How and more to the point why does someones feelings change so quickly?

[Rodge2]

I quite appreciate that you feel the best thing is to accept and move on. But do you think it might be wise to try to satisfy yourself about what actually happened, which might make the moving on and forgetting it easier? Might it be worth approaching him once more and just asking for a fuller explanation?

[China Doll]

Perhaps he's just met someone else and is trying to let you down easily. I wouldn't waste my time wondering about how his feelings could change so quickly as the fact that he split with you via text is rather indicative of his feelings not really being as much as he led you to believe.

[Craftypig]

Ok he was either lying about a future together and was playing you. Or, this is a wild stab in the dark, he could be slightly insecure about how you feel about him. Thing is with most blokes even if you put down in writing how you felt about them, there will always be a little nagging voice in the back of their mind telling them screwed up rubbish filling their minds with doubts etc etc. Based on your post I'm thinking that this relationship has a distance issue related to it, he could be thinking to himself that there is a possibility he could get hurt by you so it could be is way of either testing your commitment or cutting loose before he gets hurt by you.

[Mcvj]

have you actually spoken to him about it? Surely it would be better to speak with him and achieve some sort of closure, at least to get to the point passed all of the cliches?

I suppose, maybe you spent a lot of time with him which he enjoyed, then when you were away from him he started to have fun as a 'single' guy again. That's not to say that he was seeing anyone or anything, but he just fell out of being in a relationship. I bet he wanted to tell you at the zoo but p*ssied out!

[andy-hughes]

It sounds like a 'commitment' issue - a lot of guys are scared at the thought of srttling down with one person - even though it could be the very best thing for them -and as a married man with twenty-five years of experience in that area, I know of what i speak!

It is certainly worth trying to talk it over - if he won;t talk to you, then he's not worth fighting for. At least you may get a good reason, although I doubt it, since probably even his is not sure why he is leaving you, but have a go.

[pa___ul3]

I'd want to understand why, but then this chap's just broken up with you via text message, I think you'd be better off finding someone with a bit more respect and a pair of balls!

[craft1948]

Well you've had 4 good months out of it................

[sarah-london]

Some very good answer. Very impressed. I don't like things being 'rosied' up for me - I ike to be a realist. I appreciate the time taken to respond. I agree I did think the other day what would I rather have had.....the summer with OR without spending time with him? Definitely with! Have had some proper giggles. Just sad it had to end & for me, the reasons are not clear. Hey ho - I guess I'm never gonna understand!

[joko]

maybe he felt things were going to fast...its 4 months and you were talking about the future etc...maybe scared him offf

[Purple_Popple]

Sounds like he was just with you until something different came along (I dont like to say someone better) as that is not a nice thing to say, but he perhaps had a better offer - players do this, they like a challenge and he had you where he wanted you and you were no longer a challenge - trouble is men get bored very easily ....he is an arse though for ditching you via text, that is a true coward and you (YAWN) seriously deserve better !

[Purple_Popple]

Sarah your gender is set to 'male' ????

[Purple_Popple]

Is this who you bought shoes with too ? The same person ?? Confused.com

[4getmenot]

the only person that knows is him. I had same thing happen to me 9 years ago. And found out 3 years after it was because I was mates with a bloke that had stole his previous girlfriend. 2 years after that I started going ou with him again, 4 years later we're still together. Another bloke I used to see, wouldnt settle down with me because he said he was worried to leave me alone with his mates. Weird. So reelly could be so many reasons.

[sarah-london]

Ha ha I know - I just saw my gender is male too - how odd! I'm onto it!


Bless ya 4getmenot.....am glad things have worked out for you!

It wasn't me talking too much about the future....in fact HE was the one that wanted to make us 'exclusive' in the first place - I was happy just going along the way we were. Men......I'll never understand! I've decided to leave it now - it's a waste of my time! Game over x