Christmas Joke Appeal. Help!

[stoofur]

Hi everyone.

Every year I would email a daily joke email over the Christmas period. A kind of Joke Advent Calendar.

This year I was not going to bother. But I have had a demand from the recipients that I re-instate the email. Apparently it does not feel Christmassy or something without the email.

I need jokes fast! Please help!

Thank you everyone for your help. You will make my colleagues very happy.

Regards,
Stewart (Buddy the Elf)

[Sgt.Rock]

Why doesn't Santa smoke? - because its bad for his elf.

Why does Santa have 3 gardens? - so he can Ho Ho Ho.

[stoofur]

Good work Sgt Rock.

Just 22 more needed.

Thank you!

[AB Editor]

Amazing.

[penelope2]

I'm putting vodka and potatoes out for santa this year, he's bound to be Polish.

[jno]

how does Santa take photos?

With a North Polaroid camera.

[stoofur]

Penelope, I don't think I could use that. Sorry,

Jno. Very good.

[erin-x]

Why is a cat on a beach the same as Christmas?......




Because they both have Sandy Claws!!

That is really shocking.. I got it from a website, just so you know it's not mine :)

[stoofur]

Erin, I think you are winning at the moment

[erin-x]

Yay! :D

Here's the website if you want it... http://www.christmasj.../fatherchristmas.html

[whiskeryron]

When you plant potatoes in your garden put razor blades in at the same time & you will harvest chips.

[atrollope]

The Polish like to eat Carp at Christmas...and Vodka will be fine ;-)

[Meg888]

Why did santa go to docs? He had tinsellitus

Santa: Doc, I've a mince pie stuck up my bum: Doc: Don't worry, I've got some cream for that.

Not very original....:-(

[jno]

what Christmas carol do they sing in the desert?

Oh camel ye faithful.

[stoofur]

Good work everyone.
Sgt Rock, (Twice)
Jno (Twice)
Erin + some from the website
Meg

You have all gone into my email.

Keep them rolling!

What is the difference between a Snow man and a Snow Woman? Snow balls.

[whiskeryron]

They picked my name out of a hat that's why i'm called 6 & 7/8ths.

[erin-x]

Haha!! That snow balls one is really good!

[whiskeryron]

They had my name ( Harold) from the Bible. '' Hark The Harold Angels Sing''.

[sir.prize]

We had grandma for Christmas dinner.
Really?

We had turkey.

[whiskeryron]

Don't ever eat yellow snow.

[stoofur]

Sur Prize you are on the list

Sorry Whisky, I used that one last year.