... walks into a bar...

[bibblebub]

http://www.thepoke.co...e-x-walks-into-a-bar/

A giraffe walks into a bar, the barman says “Sorry mate, we don’t serve Heineken here”.

War Horse walks into a bar. Barman asks: “why the long film?”

A barman walks into a stable. The horse, still bitter, says “Why the tiny p***s?”

ƒ(x) walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t cater for functions.”

Sean Connery walks into a bar and asks for a vodka martini. The barman says ‘I’m sorry, we don’t serve your short in here.’

A man walks into a bar, and is promptly knocked out of the World Limbo Championships.

A man walks into a bar. On the floor is a pool of water and a dead dwarf. He knows that when he leaves he will be bankrupt. How so?

A woman walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre. So he gave her one.

Gill Sans and Bradley Hand walk into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your type.”

A man walks into a bar in London. Ouch! It was an overpriced bar.

Elvis walks into a bar, says “love me, tender”, and the bartender holds him gently, strokes his quiff and they grow old together.

A parasite walks into a bar. Barman says "We don’t serve parasites here."
Parasite says "You’re not a very good host"

[Zacs-Master]

Go on then, tells us how the bloke knew he was going to be bankrupt. Circus owner?

[bibblebub]

have you seen bar prices recently?

[Mosaic]

Oh very good!

[Marijn]

I like these. A lot of them are new to me. :-)

[Mamyalynne]

Cyclops and a Unicorn walk into a bar - Barman thinks 'That's a recipe for an accident'

[carrust]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra....

[DTCwordfan]

(I posted this one some time ago)

Duck walks into the bar and asks for a pint.

Barman says -"Well you have paid, I've no issue; what's your name and what sort of day have you had?"

"I'm Drake. Actually, a brilliant day, I have been messing around in puddles."

Second duck comes into the bar and waddles up and asks for, and pays for his pint.

"And who are you and what sort of day have you had then, like your mate?" asks the barman.

"I'm Quackers and I have had a fantastic day - been playing in puddles."

Third duck comes into the bar and asks for and pays for a pint.

Barman - "Good grief, a third duck who are you and what sort of day have you had?"

"I'm Puddles and I am truly shagged out"