Crosswords2 mins ago
Pun crock
51. If you drop a piano down a mine shaft, do you get A flat minor?
52. On a camping trip, is the fun in tents?
53. Why is a baker like a beggar? They both knead the dough.
54. The cross-eyed teacher had difficulty controlling her pupils.
55. News from the wire: An accumulator is feeling run down. It's quite shocking really: he used to be a bright spark until the powers that be charged him with battery and put him in a cell, despite putting up resistance. But the circuit judge discharged him as there was no current evidence.
56. The train had a nervous breakdown; it went off the rails. (Thanks to Rev Awdry and Thomas the Tank Engine for that one.)
57. The clairvoyant was laughing at me so I hit her. I decided to strike a happy medium.
58. Police were searching for a short psychic who had escaped from prison. They were looking for a small medium at large.
59. He didn't pay the exorcist and was repossessed.
60. Two pieces of tarmac at the bar were boasting how hard they were. “I'm from the bypass,” said one. “I'm from the motorway,” said the other. Just then a piece of red tarmac came in looking for a fight and the two braggarts slunk away. “I thought you were tough!” cried a piece of pavement. “Yes. But that's a cycle path!”
52. On a camping trip, is the fun in tents?
53. Why is a baker like a beggar? They both knead the dough.
54. The cross-eyed teacher had difficulty controlling her pupils.
55. News from the wire: An accumulator is feeling run down. It's quite shocking really: he used to be a bright spark until the powers that be charged him with battery and put him in a cell, despite putting up resistance. But the circuit judge discharged him as there was no current evidence.
56. The train had a nervous breakdown; it went off the rails. (Thanks to Rev Awdry and Thomas the Tank Engine for that one.)
57. The clairvoyant was laughing at me so I hit her. I decided to strike a happy medium.
58. Police were searching for a short psychic who had escaped from prison. They were looking for a small medium at large.
59. He didn't pay the exorcist and was repossessed.
60. Two pieces of tarmac at the bar were boasting how hard they were. “I'm from the bypass,” said one. “I'm from the motorway,” said the other. Just then a piece of red tarmac came in looking for a fight and the two braggarts slunk away. “I thought you were tough!” cried a piece of pavement. “Yes. But that's a cycle path!”
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I've posted this before years ago but it's your own fault for getting me started....
When three Native American women were giving birth they were in the maternity teepee and two were lying on buffallo hides but the other one was lying on the hide of a hippopotamus. When they had delivered the papooses they were weighed and both of the women who used buffallo hides delivered babies which were 8lbs exactly. The other child weighed in at 16lbs thus proving the theory of Pythagoras that the son of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
When three Native American women were giving birth they were in the maternity teepee and two were lying on buffallo hides but the other one was lying on the hide of a hippopotamus. When they had delivered the papooses they were weighed and both of the women who used buffallo hides delivered babies which were 8lbs exactly. The other child weighed in at 16lbs thus proving the theory of Pythagoras that the son of the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
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