Have a laugh

[marval]

Once a year, my village holds a market for the locals to sell their wares.
I baked a couple of cakes, 1 was priced at a pound and the other a fiver.

A man stopped at my stall and looked at the cakes, before pointing at the 1 costing a fiver and asked "what type of cake is that 1 then?".

I replied "that’s madeira cake"

It's really difficult to find what you want on Ebay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15000 matches

I got done for shoplifting today at ASDA..... I paid for 6 cans of sprite at the self checkout, but when security checked my bag he discovered I had picked 7 up

I went to B & Q yesterday. I went to the counter and asked the man for some nails. He said "How long do you want them?" I said "I want to keep them!"

I was asked to describe my life in a nut shell..... well, it's very dark and cramped

Head and shoulders have formulated a new shampoo especially for pikeys..... it's called "Go & Wash"

A bloke went to the Doctors complaining of strange voices coming from his underpants.
The Doctor said “Ignore them, they’re talking b*ll*cks".

[Hopkirk]

Thanks, I have.

[marval]

Glad you did

[vulcan]

In the pub the other night a couple of us were talking about wash & go, we came up with the go & wash and also shampoo for the ill,Touch & go and for the people who cut themselves, gash & woe.

[maggiebee]

Love them all, thanks.

[marval]

I like them Vulcan