jokes

[emmie]

know any funny ones, or some that can be put on here without causing an uproar, i will kick it off

what do you call a mushroom who buys all the drinks..

a fungi to be with..


off you go..

[marval]

Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they're shellfish

[imagcq]

bloke goes into the bakers and asks for a sliced white loaf
the baker says ive only got granery left
bloke says thats ok ive got my bike outside

[cupid04]

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Because he had nobody to dance with!

[MASS1961]

What's green and hairy and goes up and down?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A Gooseberry in a lift!

[cupid04]

don't get yours, imagcq?

[marval]

What happend to the cat that ate wool?

It had mittens!

[imagcq]

whats the difference between a duck?
one legs both the same ha ha

[cupid04]

why did the submarine blush?


Because it saw Queen Mary's bottom.

[imagcq]

spent half an hour defrosting the fridge last night or foreplay as she calls it

[cupid04]

Did you hear about the queer spiders?

They kept looking at each others flies!

[excelsior-1]

what is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

unlawful means against the law

illegal is a large bird of prey that is not very well

[marval]

Why were the early days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many knights!

[cupid04]

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?


She couldn't control her pupils!

[cupid04]

What's brown and runs up your leg?



A homesick s hit!

[maggiebee]

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A quivering wreck.

[maggiebee]

What's yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard.

[marval]

How did the Vikings send secret messages?
By norse code.

[cupid04]

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out a bloke's pyjamas'?



His mum of course!

[marval]

What kind of food do maths teachers eat? [i
[i] Square meals. ]

[marval]

What kind of food do maths teachers eat? [i

[i] Square meals. ]