News1 min ago
Irish Logic
An Australian was in Ireland.
On his way to Belfast, he stopped at a bar and asked one of the locals, "What's the quickest way to Belfast?"
The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"
The Australian replied, "I'm driving!"
The Irishman said, "Aye, that'd be the quickest way!"
On his way to Belfast, he stopped at a bar and asked one of the locals, "What's the quickest way to Belfast?"
The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"
The Australian replied, "I'm driving!"
The Irishman said, "Aye, that'd be the quickest way!"
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My mother once told me to get the dog in. I got it to the kitchen and was just about to bring it in, whereupon she told me I was an idiot. Why? Because the sky was overcast.
If you can work out the logic in that, you're as Irish as she was !
[Answer: sky overcast means dark clouds; dark clouds mean thunder; thunder means lightning; dog is wearing a collar; collar is made of leather and metal; lightning is attracted to metal; don't want dead dog; get dog in to remove collar;remove collar; dog is in garden; garden is muddy; don't bring muddy dog into house; 'in' does not mean 'inside'. Obvious really. I was only 6, so the key bit about lightning and metal in the collar had to be adduced by questioning me)
At Galway races, the lift attendant said to us all "Going up !. I can take 4" On the return he said "Going down! I can take 5" . A woman, hearing an English voice questioning this, said "You're not Irish, you'll not understand it!" And that was true enough.And Galway remains the only place where a bus firm advertises "Genuine Galway tours". We assume that the fake Galway tours are somebody else's and do things like show the gasworks and claim it's the cathedral.
If you can work out the logic in that, you're as Irish as she was !
[Answer: sky overcast means dark clouds; dark clouds mean thunder; thunder means lightning; dog is wearing a collar; collar is made of leather and metal; lightning is attracted to metal; don't want dead dog; get dog in to remove collar;remove collar; dog is in garden; garden is muddy; don't bring muddy dog into house; 'in' does not mean 'inside'. Obvious really. I was only 6, so the key bit about lightning and metal in the collar had to be adduced by questioning me)
At Galway races, the lift attendant said to us all "Going up !. I can take 4" On the return he said "Going down! I can take 5" . A woman, hearing an English voice questioning this, said "You're not Irish, you'll not understand it!" And that was true enough.And Galway remains the only place where a bus firm advertises "Genuine Galway tours". We assume that the fake Galway tours are somebody else's and do things like show the gasworks and claim it's the cathedral.
Marval, it's not just Galway, of course. Only in Ireland would a a racecourse I went to, a good many miles out from Dublin, in the country, have a sign at the entrance with the admission price hastily crossed out and a cheaper one written alongside. The given reason? It had been raining all morning and they wanted to encourage visitors to come, in spite of the bad weather. The fact that the visitors had already come to the course before they discovered this incentive to come, eluded everybody. When I got in, it was tipping down. The man next to me idly remarked " The tack [bridles etc] men will be busy". A long reflective pause followed, I wondering silently whether he meant the saddles or reins would need adjusting more tightly in the wet,then he added "fitting the miners' lamps to the horses, so they can see where they're going" .
Again in Galway, I saw a bus with "Please keep your feet off the seats" in the windows. I read what the stickers said, because they were facing OUT of the bus. They couldn't be read by anyone inside the bus. Still,at the stop there was a helpful sign reading 'Timetable' under which was a printed sticker reading "The timetable has now been removed. It was wrong anyway"
Ah well, it all made sense. I think. Well, it would have to my mother!
Again in Galway, I saw a bus with "Please keep your feet off the seats" in the windows. I read what the stickers said, because they were facing OUT of the bus. They couldn't be read by anyone inside the bus. Still,at the stop there was a helpful sign reading 'Timetable' under which was a printed sticker reading "The timetable has now been removed. It was wrong anyway"
Ah well, it all made sense. I think. Well, it would have to my mother!
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