To laugh or not to laugh
A blonde takes her car to a mechanic!
The mechanic says 'Nothing to worry about, it’s just sh!t in the air filter!'
She says 'Brilliant, how many times do I have to do that?'
Cops came and knocked on my door and said my dog's been chasing people on a bike! I said "Bog off he doesn't have a bike!"
This bloke was having sex with an enormous woman.
He asks "Can I turn the light off?"
She says "You a bit shy, love?"
He says "No, my *rse is burning."
"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."
"If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They’re trained for that."
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.