Howard's End
A Yorkshire farmer in his landy, drove to a neighbour's, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.
" t 'is ya Dad home?"
"Nope, he ain't; he went to town."
"Nar then, is your Mother here?"
"Nope, she went t'town with Dad."
"Hows about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"Nope, He went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for ya? I know where all the tools are, if ya want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk t 'ya Dad. It's about ya brother Howard gettin' ma daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'
The boy thought for a moment, "You would have to talk t' Dad about that. I know he charges £500 for the bull and £50 for the dog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard"