Phoenix Magazine Christmas 2024
Crosswords4 mins ago
The elderly woman...
.
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Scotland one morning with a bag full of money.. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the Manager of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the Manager's office.
The Manager of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her bag on his desk and replied, '£150.000 The Manager was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The Manager was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you £25.000 that your testicles are square.'
TheManager started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eyelid. She just looked at the Manager and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the Manager'I bet you £25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10o/c tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the Manager of the Bank confidently.
That night, the Manager became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet..
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the Manager'soffice with her lawyer and acknowledged the £25,000 bet made the day before that the Manager's testicles were square.
TheManager confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The Manager was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the Manager if she could touch them. 'Of course', he said . 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the Manager noticed that the lawyer was looking a little pale & was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied,
'Oh, it's probably because I bet him £100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the Manager of the Royal Bank of Scotland !'
An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Scotland one morning with a bag full of money.. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the Manager of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the Manager's office.
The Manager of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her bag on his desk and replied, '£150.000 The Manager was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The Manager was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?'
The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you £25.000 that your testicles are square.'
TheManager started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eyelid. She just looked at the Manager and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?'
'Certainly', replied the Manager'I bet you £25,000 that my testicles are not square.'
'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10o/c tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the Manager of the Bank confidently.
That night, the Manager became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet..
The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the Manager'soffice with her lawyer and acknowledged the £25,000 bet made the day before that the Manager's testicles were square.
TheManager confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The Manager was happy to oblige.
The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the Manager if she could touch them. 'Of course', he said . 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.'
The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the Manager noticed that the lawyer was looking a little pale & was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied,
'Oh, it's probably because I bet him £100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the Manager of the Royal Bank of Scotland !'
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