I was a lumberjack .....

[excelsior-1]

.... But i was given the axe

[boxtops]

Don't be tempted to join a splinter group!

[Cruciformist]

I'm not surprised you were given the axe. People don't use logs these days - it's calculators.

[DTCwordfan]

You could always move to SAB and take the SAP out of them

[tonyav]

You wouldn't have got the chop if you had attended that CONIFERence.

[Bazile]

Anybody sprucing themselves up , cos they are going out on the town tonight ?

[dickythecook]

Wooden it be nice if you could keep the same job for awhile.

[boxtops]

anyone going country dancing, to Strip the Willow?

[excelsior-1]

Well dicky,
I had thought about writing a second novel ...

... But that's another story

[Psybbo]

The sap is rising here

[marval]

I fancy some maple syrup

[Cruciformist]

Maybe you turned over a new leaf.

[tonyav]

Some times these matters need sorting out root and branch, excel.

[boxtops]

writing would be a plum job

[tonyav]

And don't get all knotty about it.

[boxtops]

That's a warped comment

[DTCwordfan]

well I am not getting much writing done this afternoon, I am seriously bushed and these puns do not help!

[DTCwordfan]

And then I had to make a trunk call.

[Cruciformist]

Is it true you phone Mrs. excel just once a year? Annual rings?

[DTCwordfan]

Only once a year, that's going out on a limb.

[Psybbo]

Must have been a hatchet job.............