Jobs & Education1 min ago
A Few Smiles For A Dreery Day...
Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of the night next to some bloke who was snoring and farting, so I knew I made it home OK!
The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.
I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.
My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.
After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, flump it, soldier on!
I woke up this morning at 8, and could feel something was wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.
Answers
Ha ha ha Jem, wherever do you get them. Always love your jokes
15:12 Thu 24th Jan 2013
-- answer removed --
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