News5 mins ago
A Few From Tim Vine
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money at him. I said "Do you earn a living doing that?" He said "Yes, its my livelihood."
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said "You've been promoted." And I swerved. Then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again." and I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said "You're managing director." and I went into a tree. A policeman came up and said "What happened to you?" and I said "I careered off the road."
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
...its my livelihood, ha ha (funny)
And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money at him. I said "Do you earn a living doing that?" He said "Yes, its my livelihood."
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said "You've been promoted." And I swerved. Then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again." and I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said "You're managing director." and I went into a tree. A policeman came up and said "What happened to you?" and I said "I careered off the road."
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.
...its my livelihood, ha ha (funny)
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