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excelsior-1 | 19:49 Sun 09th Jun 2013 | Jokes
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Dieting is not a piece of cake

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it probably needs a little more time in the microwave

A man was drowned eating his muesli the other day. He was pulled in by a strong currant.


A man walks into a doctor’s office.  He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.  “I don’t feel so good - what’s the matter with me?” he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, “you’re not eating properly.


Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean is a vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS.
Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category.
Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk,
which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries
all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

And finally, "Stressed" spelled backward is "desserts"!










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Ho! Ho! Good 'uns, excel!
20:56 Sun 09th Jun 2013
Good ones there
Ho! Ho! Good 'uns, excel!

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