A Few Laughs...

[Jemisa]

Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite - All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.




I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.




After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.




Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."




My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.




Since the snow came all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.




I've been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.