In The Paper, Must Be True
Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Chester when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents who thank him.
A BBC reporter has watched the whole event and says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tonight your story will head the news... So, what do you do for a living and who will you vote for in the next election?'
The biker replies, 'I'm an SAS soldier just returned from Afghanistan and a Conservative party supporter'. The journalist leaves.
That night the biker turns on the TV to see news of his actions, to be greeted by the announcer reading the screen full of text:
SAS SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
And that my friends, pretty much sums up the media’s approach to news these days.