How Dairy!

[Peaspeculiars]

I walked into a shop and the man at the till threw eggs, butter and a block of cheese at me! How Dairy!

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling-film for shorts. The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'

Friend of mine was on a plane the other day flying back from Germany, when some sausages in a passenger’s luggage exploded.
She told me it really was the wurst case scenario

Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it with us.

[Spoonboy]

It sank and the fell into a paddle!

[tonyav]

LOL.

[tonyav]

Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of the top of his head.
Doc says I'll give you some cream to put on it.

[Peaspeculiars]

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off...

owch

[tonyav]

wince wince.

[tonyav]

Guy goes to the doctors. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my bottom.'
'Hows that ?'
'Don't you start.'

[Peaspeculiars]

^^^ Lol! Really must go and make dinner! Ok, very last one - it's been fun :-)

I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

[tonyav]

A man walked into the doctors, he said, I've hurt my arm in several places'.
The doctor said, ' Well don't go there anymore'.