New Number

[marval]

After directory enquiries gave Anita, her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialled him and got a woman.

"Is Jimmy there?" Anita asked.

"He's in the shower," she responded.

"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Anita said and hung up.

When he didn't return the call, Anita dialled again. This time a man answered.

"This is Jimmy," he said.

"You're not my boyfriend!" Anita exclaimed.

"I know," he replied.

"That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."


Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom.

They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life."

Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me."

All the people including the priest started laughing.

But not the poor groom!


Jack's grandfather left him ten million pounds, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him.

After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more.

On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men's names!

Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.

"Diane," he said, "was the only reason you married me because my grandfather left me ten million pounds when he died?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she replied, "I don't care who gave you the money!