Our Bernie Cuddles

[DTCwordfan]

Goes to the doctor.

"Doctor, Doctor, Mrs C says I have a think about boobs, a fixation in fact, a tambo-fetish. It may be true as she caught me gazing at my neighbour's the other week."

"Nothing unusual there, Bernie. How bad is it?"

"Bad, Doctor, bad."

"Well, we need to test this."

So Doc Sqad pulls out a table-tennis ball. "What do you see, Bernie?"

"Boobs, lovely little boobs with pert nipples. Little A cup ones...."

"Okay, we get the idea. What about this?"

Sqad pulls out an orange.

"Boobs, lovely firm boobs with pointy nipples. Lovely B/C cups...."

Hesistantly, Sqad pulls out a melon. "Now?"

"Big boobs, humengous boobs, get your head between them and brrrrrr. E cups at least."

"Okay, calm down, Bernie, otherwise I'll have to be prescribing Ibuprofen, 600mg, 3 times a day. What about this?"

Sqad pulls out a pair of windscreen wipers.

"Boobs, gorgeous boobs with glorious nipples, oh beautiful....."

"Christ, Bernie, you have it bad. I can see the association with the table-tennis ball, the orange and the melon but how do you pair windscreenwipers with women's breasts."

Bernie looks at him, moves his head side to side as if kissing something, "Shwish- Swish, Shwish-Sgwish"

[murraymints]

DT...get to the step ! Go on over there...sit with hands on your head and contemplate your naughty ways .........hail Mary....Lol....xx

[shoota]

This is the jokes section - not the proven facts section.....

[marval]

Don't tell Mrs C.

[DTCwordfan]

thing not think and there's a typo in the second pair of Swishes.

[DTCwordfan]

Wait until yours, Minty.....x

[Peaspeculiars]

Lol!

[berniecuddles]

thats the breast joke I've heard in ages lol