Too Early?

[Jordyboy9]

Female response when hit with the chat up line...
"You look really familiar, do I know you from somewhere"?
You reply "I don't know... do you watch a lot of porn"?

[ummmm]

Lol...

Only joking....it's not funny at all :-)

[baza]

Toooo early.

[Peter Pedant]

.

Some pretty girl said to me ( moi, sixty y old ugly male )
" "You look really familiar, do I know you from somewhere"?

and I said if you turn around, you will see me on the wall.

and she said Oh

[ I think she expected me to be the arteest - a sort of debaiuched andy warhol figure. (I cd do the debauchery bit at a pinch) ]

[weecalf]

Shirley not

[Baldric]

@09:51

Why would God call Sandra Shirley?

[Peter Pedant]

Jordie I thought it was good


there can be too much analysis of jokes I say

[marval]

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and me hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

[maggiebee]

Some nice ones there Marval.

[marval]

Some good ones Jordy.

Here are some Thanksgiving ones.


Whew, that's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
Talk about a huge breast!
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
Are you ready for seconds yet?
Are you going to come again next time?
It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
Don't play with your meat.
Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
You still have a little bit on your chin.
Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
How many are coming?
That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
Just lay back & take it easy...I'll do the rest.
How long do I beat it before it's ready?

[marval]

I love those Jordy


Things In American Football That Sound Dirty
But Aren't


The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.
He came at his blind side and got him from behind.
He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow.
I's a game of inches.
That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.
When you get down in this area, you just gotta start pounding.
He's gonna feel that one tomorrow.
He found his tight end.
End around.
He had to stretch to get it in.
He gets penetration in the backfield.
He blows them off (at the line).
He bangs it in.
He could go all the way.
He gets it off just in time.
He goes deep.
He found a hole and slid through it.
He pounds it in.
He beats them off (the line)
He's got great hands