Halloween Jokes

[ABAuntie]

Morning all,

With All Hallow's Eve fast approaching we would love to hear some of your cheesiest scary jokes, cleanish please :-)

Along the lines of:

Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.

Q: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
A: Hope it’s Halloween!!

Two monsters went to a party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?”
“Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."

Please add them here so we can have a Halloween hoot!!!

[Dizmo]

What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?... Bamboo

[marval]

What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A bird that doesn't give a hoot.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.

[Arksided]

What did the Pumpkin say to the Turkey

"Don't know why you're smiling... you're next"

[cupid04]

Patient: I keep seeing vampires with fangs dripping with blood.

Doctor: Have you seen a psychiatrist?

Patient: No, just vampires!

[chaptazbru2]

What did the ghost say to the other ghost ?

'Do you believe in humans ......'

[cupid04]

Q] What is a vampires favourite holiday?

A] Fangsgiving!


Q] Where does Dracula get all his jokes from?

A] A crypt writer!

[marval]

What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet

Why do ghosts like to ride in lifts?
It raises their spirits

What is a vampire's favourite fruit?
A necktarine

[SirOracle]

Hope this one gets under the radar.

Two old maids are sitting in their house on halloween when a ghost appears and says "Hokus Pokus".
The first old maid replies "Never mind the Hokus....Pokus ".

[mallyh]

why wouldn't the skeleton do a parachute jump ......he didn't have the guts

[Arksided]

What did the psychiatrist say to the vampire...

"Can you reflect on that... "

[cupid04]

Lol at sir Oracle!

[elliemay1]

How does a witch tell time? She looks at her witch watch.

What was the witch's favourite subject in school? Spelling.

What's the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.

What do you call two witches who live together? Broom mates.

[SirOracle]

Thank you Cupid.

[marval]

Why can't the boy ghost have babies?
Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

[coinman]

did you hear about the two gay men who went trick or treating?

they gave each other the willies!

[marval]

What do you call an Irish pumpkin?
Jack O' Lantern.

[elliemay1]

Why don’t ghosts like rain? It dampens their spirits!

[elliemay1]

What is Dracula’s favourite circus act?

He always goes for the juggler!

[Peaspeculiars]

Q: Whats a vampire's favourite holiday?
A: Fangsgiving.

One ghost says to another ghost... 'Do you believe in people?'

Q: Why did the ghost go to the bar?
A: To get the Boos

Q: What is a mummies favourite type of music?
A: Wrap!

Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle

And a final one just for Sir Oracle (close your eyes for a minute please AB Auntie):
Q: How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween?
A: Pump kin!