I Always

[marval]

I always go to the harbour and start sailing on other people boats.
I struggle with the concept of Own a Ship.

Got a date with an archer tonight.
I’m all of a quiver.

I was out at the pub quiz with my nieces and nephews the other night, and the final round was all about Matt Damon films. We got absolutely trounced.
Kids today don't know their Bourne.

Police are investigating a tip off about a robbery taking place this afternoon at the Heinz factory.
Sauce Unknown.

I've just found out who was nicking my beetroot. I caught him red handed.

I've been working round the clock in my new job and it's left me knackered.
It's not easy cleaning the windows on Big Ben.

I've started a new sweet company. I'm going to make a mint.

I just got off the phone to my friend and it said "your balance is low."
I didn't believe it, and carried on walking, and fell over.

I was playing noughts and crosses with a friend, when he started playing with a marker pen.
It was a bold move.

My partner said, "I want Champagne, no wait I actually want Rose. Forget that I'll have Chardonnay." I said, "Stop wining."

[excelsior-1]

my teacher at school said i was not very observant in class


well, that was his or her opinion

[scorpiojo]

Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes

[RATTER15]

Police are investigating a burglary at the local police station where all the toilets were stolen, investigating officers today said "they have nothing to go on"

[marval]

I bought a flea circus yesterday, but one of them won't go on the high wire.
It's a nervous tick.