Forming A Legal Relationship Between Step Parent And An Adult Step Child

[soapnumpty]

Hi all
I would appreciate some advice from those in the know. I am 39 and my Father died when I was 7. My step-father has been in a relationship with my Mother since I was 9, but they didn't marry until I was 18 so by then he was not able to legally adopt me as I was an adult(I'm in the UK). My step-father is younger than my Mum, and we are concerned that if she dies first and my step-dad remarries, I could lose all of my inheritance (assuming he marries a money grabbing old bag!). I know I have no legal entitlement to his money, other than if he specifically leaves it to me in his will. This is what he is planning on doing, and he is a wonderful man, so I don't doubt that for a minute. The only situation that concerns me & my mum is this evil new wife scenario if my mum dies first. My mum is talking about putting half of their house in my name but I don't think that is fair on my step-dad. Is there any other way of the two of us creating a legal relationship, such as legal guardian?
Many thanks

[woofgang]

In the Uk, he can't adopt you once you are adult. Even if there was such a relationship, he wouldn't have to leave you anything and if he didn't, you couldn't contest the will solely on the grounds of the relationship, so it wouldn't protect you from the putative evil new wife.
Best way forward is for him and your Mum to make wills, although if evil new wife did rock up, he could of course change his will but if your mum does pre decease him and her will leaves you her half of the house ENW couldn't get her hands on it.

[Peter Pedant]

1) there is no way you can form a legal relationship c stepdad
I am not even sure if your mum dies he is allowed to civilly partner you
( forbidden relationship in legal marriage is carried over to civil partners - I THINK )

2) your mum has discussed a way out - leaving you her share
and for some reason ( insanity I think ) you have decided it is NOT fair

3) so you are asking our advice for a way out
that is more fair to the wonderful step dad and his grasping relations
This inevitably means a way that your step dad can leave your mums money/share to someone else. That is alienate it. Something you want to avoid.

4) the answer is that this is too difficult for the average Aber -
ask a lawyer. He will gladly charge £200 /h whilst you agonize in the psychiatrists chair.

leave it to me: I promise on my life to leave it to you or your heirs if you die before me.

[bednobs]

you are not in any different situation than most other people, whether it's bothe their parents or not. If your stepdad was your actual dad, and there was an imaginary new wife, you'd still be in the same situation

[soapnumpty]

Thanks for your replies. I know what you are saying Peter, and yes what my Mum has suggested does seem the best option. I just feel that after 30 years of him effectively being my Dad, I'm now telling him that i dont trust him. I do of course. He has no other family, so it is just if he re-marries.

Bednobs, I don't believe it is the same situation, as if he was my Dad (biological or adopted) and he cut me out of his will, i could challenge it. As it is, we have no legal relationship so as i understand it, I would have no claim to his money at all, should he cut me out of his will.

[Retrochic]

Soapnumpty if one of your blood parents cuts you out of their will you have little to no chance of winning a challenge and it costs a fortune. If your mum dies before your step dad she can will you all of her Estate she owns outright and up to half of anything jointly owned. After that it up to your Step-dad to Will you his Estate on his death and frankly thats entirely up to him and not your problem.

[bednobs]

if your biological oarent wanted to leave you nothing, unless you were financially dependent on them, ther eis also not much you can do about it

[bhg481]

Just be aware that even if your dad does make a will it will be invalid if he re-marries and the rules of intestacy will apply, leaving you nothing.
Your mum can only leave you her half of the house if they are tenants-in-common; if they are joint tenants the house becomes your dad's on her death.
A possible solution is for the house to be in your mum's name and she makes a will leaving it to you with your dad having a life interest in it. That way he can stay in it for the rest of his life, at which point it will be yours. This was a situation I found myself in many years ago when an aunt, who had married late in life, died and left her house to myself and my two cousins (husband had a family with a previous wife). I heard a daughter by the previous marriage had made claims on the house when her dad died several years later, but they were thrown out and the house was split between the three cousins.
You really need one of our resident legal experts on here to recommend a foolproof solution for you.

[Retrochic]

"just be aware that even if your dad does make a will it will be invalid if he re-marries and the rules of intestacy will apply, leaving you nothing. "

are you sure about that?

[bhg481]

It believe it used to be the case that if you made a will it became invalid on marriage UNLESS you specified that it was made before an imminent wedding.

[bhg481]

This seems to back up my statement

http://www.netlawman.co.uk/ia/will-effect-marriage-divorce#Effect%20of%20marriage%20on%20your%20will

[hc4361]

The situation could arise where your mother has nothing to leave anyone. She could remortgage the house and go on a round the world cruise; she could be widowed and her health decline so much that her assets are used to pay for her nursing care. She could leave the lot to the cats' home.

It's not your inheritance, it is your mother's and step-father's money and assets to do with as they please. If you are left anything when the time comes you should feel grateful and not entitled. You should be encouraging them both to make the best of their time together, enjoying their own money.

It seems a shame that you want a recognised relationship with your step dad just to get a financial gain.

Don't plan your life around getting an unspecified inheritance at some point in the future, it may not happen.

[soapnumpty]

There is no need to be rude hc and make assumptions about my family and my intentions. This is something that is on my mum's mind. How do you know that I am not encouraging them to spend it? I would rather they both retired and spent the money on enjoying their time together. I love him as if he is my Father and he knows that. I posted this in law to get a legal answer, not your rude comments.

Thank you bhg481. That is something they have talked about.

[Peter Pedant]

"An existing will is revoked on the instance of the marriage to your partner unless it was made in anticipation of this union. As such, should you pass away, the laws of intestacy come into force." I think is an agreed statement of current law


"just be aware that even if your dad does make a will it will be invalid if he re-marries and the rules of intestacy will apply, leaving you nothing. "
are you sure about that?

[ OK the exception is that the Dad remarries and makes a will beforehand in anticipation of that marriage.
So OP would NOT be disinherited if Dad made a new will in anticipation of a new marriage AND Dad included a provision for OP

a situation so likely OP is posting about how to avoid being disinherited

[Barmaid]

Simplest way is for your mother to make a Will leaving your step father a life interest in her estate and on his death to you. BHG is right on the money.

It's not a case of you not trusting him. This sort of thing happens all the time where one parent dies and the survivor remarries. Causes all sorts of angst.

And can I just correct one regular incorrect assumption - a child CAN make a claim on an estate of a parent or a step parent and they do NOT have to show dependency. See for example Ilott v Mitson.

[woofgang]

but don't they have to prove promise, reliance and detriment?

[Barmaid]

No, Woofgang, that's proprietory estoppel.

A child of a parent or a step parent can make a claim under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975 for reasonable financial provision. It is not a requirement of that Act that the child was dependent.

[woofgang]

oh that's interesting...

[Barmaid]

Dependency may be an important factor in the case but it is not a requirement. In the case I mentioned above, the daughter was actually estranged from her mother and had been for some years. She still got £50k.

[woofgang]

I just read this on Ilott v Mitson
http://www.wilsonslaw.com/uploads/news/Ilott_versus_mitson.pdf
I understand the bit about entitlement to claim, but given the mother's clearly expressed wishes, and the fact that there is still no legal entitlement to provision, it does seem a bit perverse that she got an award. I'd be interested to know how much she actually got after payment of the charity's expenses.
I have got a personal, although hopefully academic, interest in this.

[Barmaid]

I don't know how much she got in the end - I am betting some kind of deal was struck so she got most of the £50k. (Otherwise they all had to go back to the HC).

Another interesting case is Wright v Waters [2014] EHC 3614 which is almost the opposite to Ilott. There are loads of cases regarding adult children though.