You Couldn't Make It Up...

[jourdain2]

Daughter and son-in-law moved house on Wednesday (10th Feb), usual chaos. They have a son (6) and daughter (4), half-term begins on Fri. and the children will stay in their current school until the end of school year in July. It is a 25 min. trip from new house to their school and then daughter has a 15 min. trip to the school in which she works. Normally, son-in-law would drop the children off on his way to work, some 35 mins. in the same direction. So, that's the situation.

OK. - this is the BRILL bit - 4 yr. old came out in chickenpox spots this morning. I had an early-morning call, couldn't help and the poor kid has been shunted off onto other grandma, who could. Fair enough, one of us had to help, but sick child is now with other grandma instead of tucked up in her own bed. It's a different house, different area, for goodness sake.

Other grandma is keeping her overnight. My daughter, when I got in touch tonight (there is no landline and mobile is wonky) was on her own with 6 yr-old grandson (who appears to be being a mini-Trojan in efforts to be good and help). It turns out that her husband had a scheduled meeting which he 'could not cancel', which involved an overnight trip.

When I put the phone down (about 8.30 this evening) my, exhausted, daughter was about to embark on assembling their double bed so that she didn't have to sleep on a mattress on the floor again.

Am I alone in thinking that husband ( had notice of moving date) should have put family before a business trip? I am quite cross, but I am a mother-in-law and reluctant to say things.

[Cloverjo]

What could he have done tonight? Things are awkward but not insurmountable. Your son-in-law has to keep his job. Don't say anything, and it'll all blow over soon.

[DaisyNonna]

Surely he could have made sure that his wife had somewhere to sleep before leaving?

[Mamyalynne]

I think all we can do inn these situations is help best we can and keep our lips buttoned - it will pass and be laughed about later but I feel your frustration.

[TheChair]

You think it would help if the husband lost his job?

[jourdain2]

Thank you clover-jo. I am holding my tongue and it is nice to have confirmation that I should be doing so. Son-in-law could have been assembling a bed tonight, but a mattress on the floor is tolerable for a while I remember. I just had the feeling that daughter has been abandoned to cope.

[jourdain2]

Other answers arrived whilst I was typing, thanks all. I do feel that he should have made sure she had a bed to sleep in, but, she'll live, I suppose.

[pastafreak]

I think a mattress on the floor is a minor "discomfort"... It's only temporary. Moving is exhausting enough. I think husband needed to save some energy so he good be in good form for meeting....maybe meeting could not be cancelled.

[pastafreak]

...so he *could* be in...

[sherrardk]

SIL needs job, other gran helped out, daughter needs to put a bed together - sounds rubbish but not really a biggie. I would have moved the children to a new school after half term. Maybe you're feeling a bit guilty because you were unable to help out?

[DaisyNonna]

Does he have a diary?

[ummmm]

Work would come first. He couldn't foresee little one coming down with chicken pox. A mattress on a floor is still a bed in a presumably warm dry house.

[Prudie]

We can all only base this by mapping to our own experience - I work with many men and women who could not drop certain business meetings without some detriment to their perceived commitment. With mother and grandparents in this case then I wouldn't expect the husband to miss an important meeting.
Sleeping on a mattress for a few nights when you move house is all part of the fun.

[ummmm]

Very true, Prudie, I've done it many times.

You'd think nothing of sleeping on a mattress on the floor waiting for the arrival of a new bed.

[RATTER15]

I have moved a few times recently, the very first job is to get the bed put up, if you can sleep comfortably on a familiar bed it makes everything much easier after a good nights sleep!

Putting up a bed 15 minutes, 30 minutes max?

[ummmm]

And the rest, Ratter. It takes about that to sort out the fittings and usually the instructions are long gone.

[Prudie]

As a female type I wouldn't dream of putting up a bed without help, much too heavy.

[jourdain2]

I wouldn't try to put a bed up on my own, either! Oh, it'll pass, it's life, but sick children always came first for us. Of course he didn't know she'd be ill, but she had a heart op. when she was 2 and tends to take things badly - I've had to rush over (about 1hr 20 mins) several times after a 6a.m. alarm call and I'm glad I can help but I had an appointment I couldn't miss yesterday.

[EcclesCake]

Sorry but there really is a measure of irony in your post.

You couldn't cancel your appointment but expect your SiL to do so.

He and no one else could have anticipated the chicken pox. A night or two sleeping on a mattress, really is not a hardship to a relatively young woman. Poor thing with chicken pox was with family and being spoilt rotten no doubt.

I'm at a loss to understand the ire in your thread.

[Retrochic]

Can't see what the problem is save perhaps you are feeling guilty you couldn't help and a bit miffed the 'other grandma' could. Why say 'shunted off' to the other grandma - if you could have helped would the child have been 'shunted' to you? If you could have helped would the child be 'tucked up in her own bed?
Its hard to keep jobs these days and father can't be seem to cancel business meetings every time a child is ill.
We've slept for weeks on a mattress waiting for furniture to come from abroad so again - no problem.
Why say anything, why be cross? None of your business.

[EDDIE51]

Think you have problems!
I have 5 children and 12 Grand kids , sorry but your problem barely registers on the 'grand parent problem' scale. Of the other G,Parents, two are drug addicts , one lives on a house boat ( not safe for kids) one lives in Italy and the others are dead.