I said to my wife: "I want to see a good square meal on the table when I get home from work".
When I got home that night, all I found was a slice of bread on the table.
My wife wanted to go to the ballet. I said: ‘I’m not going to sit and watch a lot of people on their toes in long underwear.’ She said: ‘You don’t have to. Wear your tuxedo.’