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Be Careful What You Wish For...

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Chipchopper | 19:23 Sun 28th Feb 2016 | Jokes
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I said to my wife: "I want to see a good square meal on the table when I get home from work".
When I got home that night, all I found was a slice of bread on the table.
  
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I got an OXO cube
20:33 Sun 28th Feb 2016
My bread is rectangular.
Went to the cocktail bar and asked for a large punch - the bruises are fading.
well I'm a frayed knot.
My recent paid study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
My old Grandad use to say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".......................until the accident.



Dave.
Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen
My wife wanted to go to the ballet. I said: ‘I’m not going to sit and watch a lot of people on their toes in long underwear.’ She said: ‘You don’t have to. Wear your tuxedo.’

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.
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Tilly, you are the exception to the Rule.

DT, I'm sure that's true!....and those live cray fish in the Titanic were very fortunate.

Webbo, Dying words can be very poignant


I got an OXO cube

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