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Rip Ronnie Corbett

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Hopkirk | 23:02 Thu 31st Mar 2016 | Jokes
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“A man was marooned on a desert island. One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit. ‘When did you last have a smoke?’ she asks. ‘Five years ago.’ So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it. She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, ‘When did you last have a drink?’ He said, ‘Five years ago.’ So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink. Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, ‘And when was the last time you played around?’ He looks at her in amazement and says: ‘You’re not telling me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there?’”
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:o}
I think some of the best were the "news bulletins"

This is a good one from the great little man : A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Apparently he had to be careful about wearing too much tartan, otherwise he ended up looking like a Thermos flask.
Another one

In a drive to improve standards in service and hygiene, a West End hotel today dismissed a waiter for having his thumb in the soup. They also dismissed a topless waitress for two similar offences.”

My favourite bit was the musical duets at the end. They were so funny and clever.
LOL Hoppy !
We've just heard that a juggernaut of onions has shed it's entire load all over the M1. Police have advised motorists to find a hard shoulder to cry on.

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Rip Ronnie Corbett

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