I bought my partner a camel-skin jacket for his birthday as a surprise. He got the hump.
My friend just boasted about buying miniture pack of cards for a tenner. It’s no big deal.
I have just drawn an unusually terrible self-portrait. That’s not like me.
Did you hear about the man that trashed a Chinese restaurant? He is being charged with Wonton Destruction.
I took up most of the reception in this really posh salon today with my 1/12th scale Sherman tank. Well the sign in the window did say ‘Models required’.
I walked it to the kitchen last night and my partner was cooking completely naked. “Why have you got no clothes on?” I asked. He replied, “Because the recipe said simmer uncovered.”
Just reading a new book on big wild cats called Tiger Attack, by Claude Tobitz.
My son has just come home after a tough, grueling month at a boot camp. He didn’t realise how hard it is training to be a cobbler.
My partner asked me If I would organise a car boot yesterday so I agreed. The spare tyre is on the left, the first aid kit is neatly tucked to the back and my golf shoes are right in the corner.
I have just finished converting the engine on my car to go really fast on bubbly chocolate bars. It is Aero-Dynamic.