A Muslim bloke I work with was bragging he had the entire Koran on DVD. Being interested, I asked him to burn me a copy. Well, that’s when it all kicked off!
Paddy caught his wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself. He puts the gun to his head, looks at his wife and says "Stop laughing, you're next."
An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".
"1st - Who was born in a stable ?"
"That’s easy" he said"Red Rum".
"2nd - What do you know about Damascus ?"
"That’s easy" he said"It kills 99% of all known germs".
"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"
"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked seven bells out of them!"
Little boy gets home from school and says "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."
His Dad replies "Never mind Son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."