Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers
Husband: I never knew she was a flower-seller
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Today is National Woman's Day. It should have been yesterday, but they weren't ready.
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I asked my wife if I was the only one she had been with. She assured me I was, all the others had been nines or tens
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I accused my wife of spilling treacle all over my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I am sticking to my guns.
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For people who don't like Alexa listening in to all conversations, they're bringing out Alec, a male version - it doesn't listen to anything
Suffer from deafness and the NHS will support you - that's why we men get totally free health-care as we '(you) never listen to anything, are you deaf?'