Under The Hammer

[Rondy]

A judge tells the defendant, “You’re charged with attacking your boss with a hammer.”

“You ***!” yells a voice from the back of the courtroom.

“You’re also charged with attacking a bartender with a hammer,” says the judge.

“Bloody ***!” bellows the same man.

“Sir,” says the judge, “one more outburst, and I’ll charge you with contempt.”

“I’m sorry, your Honour,” says the man. “But I’ve been this jerk’s neighbour for ten years, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one!”