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My torch broke so I took it to a repair shop run by four German brothers, all called Hans...
Many Hans make light work!
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The barman said to me, "Why are you looking so sad?"
I said, "Me and my wife had a massive argument and she said she won't talk to me for a month."
He said, "What's wrong with that?"
I said, "The month is up tomorrow!"
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My mate walked up to me in the pub last night and said, "Who's the bird sitting in the corner with duct tape across her mouth?"
"That's my new girlfriend," I replied.
"Really?" he said. "You've kept that one quiet!"
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