Sunday Express Skeleton 24Th November...
Crosswords2 mins ago
Just A Thought
Ten Thoughts to Ponder...
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT...
The UK knows exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in Britain, but they haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe the UK should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT...
The UK knows exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in Britain, but they haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe the UK should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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