Wee Scottish poem - translations available if required!!
Tide Mark On Ma Neck
When a wis just a wee boy ma mither said tae me
“Yer no washing yer face richt son, that’s very plain tae see"
"There's tatties growing oot yer lugs and a tide mark on yer neck"
A wis scared stiff and didnae ken, jist whit wis coming next
As a headed aff tae skale that day
Ma mithers words rang in ma ears
If the tatties in ma lugs fell oot
A’d look a numpty which wis wan o’ ma worst fears
As fur the tide mark roond ma neck
Whit wid ma school chums decide
Wis it caused by lack o' soap and water
Or lying on the beach at a high tide
Well a got ower they little worries
But ma mum had mair in store
Wan dae she stopped me fae gaun oot
As mauchit underwear a wore
Ma Mum said pit on clean underpants
And dinnae moan or mak a fuss
Jist in case by some quirk of fate
Ye got knocked doon by a bus
By noo ma heid felt like a pund o' mince
Wi ma mum's auld Scottish words and ways
And there wis much mair tae come
In my ensuing boyhood days
Manners wir her passion
She wid lay doon the law
A kidnae speak when at the table
As children shid be seen, but never heard at aw
A wis telt nae talking wi ma mooth foo
Ayeways say, thank you and say please
And a wid get a skelpit lug
If a wis caught telling lees
Ye'd gan ben the scullery fur yer breakfast
Fetch yer baffies fae the press
Get claithes oot the store on appro
There wis nae such thing as stress
A windered what the wheesht wis
That a wis telt tae hud
A didnae ken whaur ma dad wis gaun
When he went tae see a man aboot a dug
Hiv ye ever been telt yer glaikit
A wee scunner or a clipe
Did ye get yer dumps on yer birthday
Were you a canny or a crabbit type
Beelin, breeks and bahookie
Eeksie-Peeksie, bauch and nyaff
Gie it laldy, gaun yer dinger
These words aye make me laugh
Our great auld Scots Mither tongue
Must not die oot it must survive
Is part o’ our proud Scots heritage
It must tae be kept alive
No translation needed are you sure this wasn't written by my Scottish, Glaswegian Grannie?
Every time we went up to stay (one of those 'wall beds' in a tenement) I came back to Yorkshire with a Scottish accent!
Interestingly (well to me anyway) 'gallouses' for 'braces' is still well recognised in bits of Yorkshire; e.g. 'Ah can't get the gallouses aff mi man's breeks' is perfectly comprehensible. 'Lugs' etc. are in common use too.