"Do Not Bend"

[Rondy]

Patrick O'Riley spied a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spent the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

[brian j john]

I like it , very good

[elliemay1]

Sorry, but I don't find Irish jokes funny, they're a bit dated

[piggynose]

so what youre saying is, the irish are a thick lot?

[Ken4155]

Irish jokes go back to the 16th century and, despite any token snowflakism, will still be around long after we have gone.

[bookbinder]

You don't like Irish jokes, ellie? How about a couple of German ones?
1. Mummy, Mummy, I don't want to go to the USA! (Shut up, and keep swimming.)
2. What is 30 feet long, moves at 50 miles an hour, and smells of chips? (A coach full of Belgian tourists.)

[teacher1]

Rhys Pugh spied a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".
He spent the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

Is that better for you elliemay1 ?

[jno]

ah, the English, they hide their money under the soap...

(Australian joke)

[DTCwordfan]

2 Koreans one then

What do Koreans do during erections?
They vote.

What's the capital of North Korea?
About three pounds.

[EdmundD]

How to confuse an ******** :

Put two shovels in front of him and ask him to take his pick.

[DTCwordfan]

or put him in a barrel and tell him to pish in the corner.

[emmie]

wife said to her husband, "have you seen the dog bowl"
husband said "I didn't know he could play cricket.

[emmie]

which i think was one of yours Dtc.

[DTCwordfan]

Chip's actually, I did acknowledge him as it's brilliant.

I like this one from the Minty Festival - “Scotland had oil, but it’s running out thanks to all that deep frying”

[sanmac]

A newfie walks into a lumber yard and says, "I's building an 'ouse bye' and needs me some a dat der too be far" The clerks says "You mean 2 by 4?", the newfie says "Yes bye', dat's da stuff." The clerks asks "Well how long do you need it?" The newfie responds "Well bye', I's buildin an 'ouse wit it so I's gonna need it for awhile.

[DTCwordfan]

true fact - Barnsley makes more pies than any other town in the UK.

Visitor to Barnsley asks a local, "Why's there a big pie on the town hall clock and not the time?"

The response from a local, "Summit ta ate."

[emmie]

my favourite is my brothers one, bear with me

two men sitting in a pub having a quiet drink
one says to the other, "your round"
the other said "so are you you fat bstard.

[bhg481]

A chap buys a castle and is, very proudly, showing it off to his mate. They're walking round the battlements and he keeps leaning over the wall and shouting "Green side up". After a while his mate asks him why he keeps shouting over the wall. "I've got a load of Irishmen laying turves" is the reply.

[zebo]

Where does the original post say he was Irish, or are we now stereotyping people by their names?

[DTCwordfan]

You are right, zebo, he could be from Chicago or Boston....

[William51]

Nine out of ten.