You're Nicked

[Rondy]

The Judge said to the defendant, "I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again?"
"Your Honour," the criminal said, "that's what I tried to tell your policeman but he wouldn't listen."

[zebo]

Similar to the Judge who told the accused 'I never want to see you up before me again!'
'Right Sir, what time do you get up so I can make sure'

[Hopkirk]

The barrister representing one guy said his client had been drunk as a judge.

The judge said "I believe the phrase is usually sober as a judge, and drunk as a lord"

The barrister replied "yes, my lord"

[DTCwordfan]

A Scottish lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone.

After he had made his selection, the stonemason asked him what inscription he would like on it.

"Here lies an honest man and an Advocate," responded the lawyer.

"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonemason. "In Scotland and especially here in Crieff, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave here in Scotland. However, I could put `here lies an honest Advocate'"

"But that won't let people know who it is" protested the Scottish 'Advocate'..

"Certainly will," retorted the stonemason. "People will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"

Oh, Good Crieff