What Is Wrong With This Person?

[Jack8991]

Where to start....basically they can start an argument with their husband (regularly) from out of nowhere, then be very verbally nasty and aggressive in the argument, then later on, start crying and making out as they’re the victim and being abused. It’s like they genuinely believe that they are the victim. Also, they just have strange ways about them, for example, they have tea at roughly 7pm and it takes them until turned 10pm to finish the dishes and wipe round, just scrubbing at everything. She also has an obsession with germs and is always detox wiping everything (I understand to a point because of Covid but it’s still OTT). Back in 2014, she saw three ants on the kitchen floor and from that moment up until about 2019 she refused to cook in the kitchen and just ate out every night. Just a wide range of odd behaviours like this. If you was to meet her you would think she was a completely normal educated person, but behind closed doors behaves like this. It can’t be normal in my opinion. Thanks

[pixie374]

Doesn't seem anything to do with intelligence. Obviously some OCD, and possibly other issues. What does her GP say?

[Stickybottle]

Sounds like they would benefit from counselling in all honesty

[Barsel]

Don't know about the first part, but the second part with the cleaning is possibly a bit of OCD.
You say //It can’t be normal in my opinion//.
What is normal?
We are all different and what is normal to one person isn't normal to another person, but unless any harm is caused by it, then I wouldn't worry about it.

[Jack8991]

Pixie- her gp doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t think there is anything wrong with the way she acts

[Jack8991]

Oh and another thing, only she can prepare food in the kitchen, one time when someone in the house went to put a bag of rice in the microwave she shouted ‘NOOO’, only I can do this because you’re not hygienic enough

[barry1010]

OCD, fear of germs. Maybe behind closed doors she feels that she is bullied by her husband and can only express her feelings when in company as she knows he won’t react.
If you are worried about her behaviour talk to her, ask her to see her GP, explain what it is that she does that is causing you concern

[CrapAtCryptics]

With a degree of attention seeking in there to balance out a weak personality.

[jourdain2]

OCD, definitely, but other issues. Could be she knows she's acting oddly and is highly stressed and shouting for attention and help. Could be something in her past that she hasn't come to terms with.

Whatever it is, the OCD can become serious. I knew someone who became obsessed with hygiene until the only thing she would offer her husband and children was boiled eggs. This triggered medical action and it took some time and a stay in hospital, but she recovered and even began giving talks about it to help others.

I think counselling would be a very good start.

[Jack8991]

Barry- trust me, her husband is not the bully, he says nothing but she’ll find a way to argue with him about something. I know this because I’ve lived with them my whole life!

[jackthehat]

Have you thought about asking your Mum why she behaves like this?

[LadyCG]

How are you feeling after your passionate encounter?

[Jack8991]

Jack the hat- of course we all have, but she refuses to accept she has a problem

[jackthehat]

Are you sure that you have asked her and made her feel like you are concerned about *her* rather than her behaviour?

She sounds like she is in distress about 'something'.
If you approach her when she is calmer and ask her if she is worried/scared/terrified about something in her life, you might be surprised.

[Jack8991]

Jack the hat- why is it that whenever a woman acts badly people assume that she is distressed about something but when a man does it he is a horrible bully?

[jackthehat]

No idea - is it pertinent to your OP?

[Mamyalynne]

Certainly sounds like she has some deep seated anxiety issues that more than likely none of us are qualified to diagnose, she needs to ask her GP for a referral to someone who can.

[Jack8991]

Jack the hat- yes because you’re making out as though she’s acting nasty because she’s suffering with distress, but she’s always been like this

[rowanwitch]

When you have a mental illness the distress comes from things no one else considers for a moment and can seem totally ridiculous to everyone else but is horribly real. A constant feeling of absolute terror, emotional pain, or feeling you are under threat. The OCD is often because in her mind it's a way of preventing something catastrophic,or of keeping people safe. It sounds like far more is going on, creating the delusion that feeds the OCD. it sounds like she needs a proper assessment from a clinical psychiatrist and that might even be best as a voluntary inpatient.

[jackthehat]

Perhaps she has always been distressed?
If she felt that you were being supportive and concerned about her mental well-being, she may open up to you more than if she felt you were fed-up with her behaviour and impatient.
And she may be more willing to consult a mental-health professional.

[pastafreak]

Calling her behaviour nasty shows a lack of empathy and possibly an unwillingness to really understand her. And if she's always been like this, it would seem no attempt to assist her in getting the help she needs has ever been offered. She won't get better on her own.