Going To Hell

[Rondy]

A man dies and goes to hell.

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.

He goes to the German hell and asks, 'What do they do here?'

He told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.'

The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.

He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.

Then he comes to the British hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in.

Amazed, he asks, 'What do they do here?' He told, 'First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the British devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.'

'But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?'

"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Civil Servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then *** off to the canteen for the rest of the day!!!"

[Hopkirk]

He sees a second British room. They're all standing waist deep in shlt, drinking tea from cups and saucers.

He says I'll stay here please. As soon as he wade's in, the guard shouts "OK, tea break's over, back on your heads"