Pantry - The room where you keep your underwear.
Pants - What underwear does on a long run up a steep hill.
Parachute - A double-barrelled shotgun.
Paradox - Two doctors.
Pasteurise - Too far to see.
Pacifist - Someone who punches you on the nose peacefully.
Painful - A glass house (Please remember that people who live in glass houses should undress in the basement).
Palaver - A kind of sweater.
Gastro-orgasmic - now that food was truly delicious
Procaffination - can't function in the morning until 3 coffees have been consumed.
Attic - a room with midges
Waterloo - a new form of sanitation invented in the early 19thC.
Waterzooi - what type of meats are there in this soup, waiter?
Waterbed - sorry, I have a leakage problem.
Tena - that's what they cost - each pad.....
The first definition reminded me of the "Open all hours" episode, where Arkwright was reading from the newspaper regarding a naughty vicar.
"His vest was found in her pantry and her pants were found in his vestry."