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Dad Joke Of The Day

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Hopkirk | 08:38 Thu 29th Sep 2022 | Jokes
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My wife left me because of my gambling addiction, but I know I can win her back
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I can see you're upset, do you need a 'tissue'? What you need to do is roll your sleeve 'up the arm', 'lay' a new 'carpet' in the living room - if that don't work, lay a 'double-carpet' - be 'straight up' with her, tell her you'll quit the gambling and give her whatever odds she wants on you actually doing so. Be prepared for a bit of shouting in you 'ear-ole', maybe...
10:46 Thu 29th Sep 2022
I wouldn't bet on it..
What about the rest of her.
Don't worry, she'll be back by five to two.
The odds are in your favour, but it's a bit of a toss up, really.
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Do you want to bet that I can get her back?
Try doing her each way.
^
That's just rude, Spice. You should know better.
I can see you're upset, do you need a 'tissue'? What you need to do is roll your sleeve 'up the arm', 'lay' a new 'carpet' in the living room - if that don't work, lay a 'double-carpet' - be 'straight up' with her, tell her you'll quit the gambling and give her whatever odds she wants on you actually doing so. Be prepared for a bit of shouting in you 'ear-ole', maybe even a slap in the 'face'. If you do decide to gamble again, make sure you've got some suitable 'headgear' for when she gives you a 'double tap' on 'the top of the head' with a 'bottle'.
If you don't follow my advice, all bets are off.
play her a few abba songs ....the winner takes it all .....money money money etc
She's got a nerve. It was nag, nag, nag with her as well.

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