Another Few
I went to my mates wedding and I whispered to a bloke next to me, "flip me, that bride is pig ugly!"
"Do you mind! That's my daughter you're talking about!"
"I'm really sorry, I didn't know you were her father."
"I'm not. I'm her mother!"
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There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 19. His name was Constant Teen.
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Is it true that exits are on the way out?
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The other day I was watching a horse running in a field when all of a sudden it stopped with a jerk.
The jerk fell off and horse seemed so much happier.
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After weeks of training, I have just won my first cage fight.
The budgie didn’t know what hit him.
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Paul Daniels tried to sell me an exotic cat once.
"You'll like this," he said. "Ocelot!"
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