Into Heaven
An alcoholic, a male nymphomaniac, and a smoker all die and are going to Heaven. When they get to the pearly gates, Peter completely loses him temper. He says, “I’m SO sick of you sinners just being allowed in just because you went to church every Sunday.
So, here’s what we’re going to do; we’re going to see if you guys deserve to be in Heaven. I’m going to lock you each in your own room with your vice. If you can be in there for a year without touching it, I’ll let you in.
So, he sets the alcoholic up with a room that stretches as far as the eye can see, and it’s all shelves of the finest liquors ever made. Peter sets the nympho up with a room that is full of beautiful, flirty virgins, and there’s even a heart-shaped bed. Lastly, the smoker is set up with a room that has a never-ending supply of the best smelling weeds.
A year goes by and he checks on the alcoholic; the guy is passed out on the floor, ever drop drank. The guy is sent to hell. Checks on the male nympho, every girl in there is exhausted from sex, and there’s semen all over the bed. The guy is sent to hell. Checks on the smoker, and the guy is just sitting in the room, sober as can be, none of the weed has been touched.
Peter says, “Oh my god. Of all three of you guys, you were the one I least expected to be able to succeed. How did you do it?”
Stoner says, “Got a light?”