And There's More

[Rondy]

Me: "Alexa, can you check my bank balance and let me know which Apple product I can afford?"
Alexa: "Apple Juice!"

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Tech support: “What does the screen say now?”
Customer: “It says ‘Hit enter when ready.’”
Tech support: “Well?”
Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

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On the 26th every year, there's nothing I like better than sitting on the toilet, expunging the excesses of the day before and belting out all my favourite Christmas songs.
Oh how I love Bog Sing Day!

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After the success of the cross desert car rallies, sponsors are looking to organise a race across the Antarctic.
I wonder who will take pole position.

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I despair. Yesterday morning I asked everyone if they would like Bucks Fizz.
They're still making their mind up.

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I asked my friend why she always calls her husband '12'
She said it's because he dozen work, dozen cook and dozen do anything really.

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Back in the 1970's when the bin men had a driver and two young blokes on the back emptying all the bins into to lorry. It was Christmas eve in a rich part of town and a pretty young lady in a dressing gown with nothing on underneath
is waiting by the gate to give the team their Xmas bonus.
She invites the first young bloke into the house and makes mad passionate love with him.
Ten minutes later it's the turn of the second young bloke to do the same.
Another ten minutes and the driver is all smiles waiting for his turn when the young lady hands him a £5 note.
"What's this?" he asks. "Well, I asked my husband what I should give the bin men this year. He said give the driver £5 and screw the rest."

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