And There's More

[Rondy]

With all this advanced technology these days, you would think someone could invent soundproof underpants.
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Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
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My new years resolution is to give up sexual innuendos...
Which is going to be extremely hard!
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My other New Years Resolution is to have a lot more sex…
Haven't told the missus though.
Don't want her spoiling it!
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Another is to quit my 2 bad habits: Smoking and masturbating...
It's gonna be hard because I'm a 20 a day man and I smoke like a chimney!
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Three drunk men got into a taxi. The driver could see they were drunk so he started the engine, then turned it off and said: "We're here, that'll be £10."
The first guy handed him the money and got out. The second guy said: "Thanks for the ride," and got out.
The third guy slapped the driver who though by then that he'd been found out
until the guy said: "Next time control your speed, you nearly got us all killed out there."
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