What Do I Tell The Man From The Dog's Home?

[abbeylee90]

The man I know from dogs home anyway he  doesn't come down anymore as he won't wear a hi vi's of theirs, he hasn't been for a month and this morning hemessaged me  saying dog walking off until Monday due to kennel cough and I said he don't go down there no more and said he been down twice this week but not to walk dogs. I just brought up in conversation I drove round by where we've been yesterday. He messaged back and said ''We been loads of places, before you became mrs the answers NO, now what's the question". Truth is I'm focusing on new things in life like hoping to find a man so he would have to get use to it anyway as can't see me hanging out with him if that was to happen.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbeylee, you don't need to 'tell' the man anything - but sending chatty texts is maybe giving off the wrong signals (again).

If the man made you feel uncomfortable, why are you even contemplating 'hanging out with him'?  Is it like the jobs, you keep going with something, someone until something, someone better comes along? 

 

[abbeylee90]

No he messaged me first this morning and yes I'm indecisive 

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, you said you 'just brought up in conversation', so you must have been a bit 'chatty'?

Yes, I know it's tempting sometimes to hold on to things - jobs, people, whatever until you get a better offer... but it's a little unfair. You don't need to have anything more to do with the older man, you  certainly don't need to wait to see if you're successful 'finding a man'.  

[Captain2]

I'm sure you said recently that you'd 'blocked' him, abbey?

[retrocop]

Did you drive round on your own?

[newmodarmy]

I'm a bit worried about my comprehension skills. Your post  makes no sense to me abbey but I'm glad some here have  been able to make sense of it.

But I did get that  you'd chatted to him online or by text, even though i didn't understand the conversation. But if you want to avoid him you should enagage with him as it may give him the impression you're interested in him.

 

[Countrylover]

That's what I was wondering Retro! 

[newmodarmy]

Once again why are you linking hanging around with him with you getting a man of your own. You either want to have him as a friend or you don't. Whether or not you have a boyfriend is irrelvant- unless you think a boyfriend is entitled to control who you are friends with. 

[newmodarmy]

// Did you drive round on your own?//

I asusmed abbey meant ona  driving lesson.

[newmodarmy]

^ assumed

[Countrylover]

Where do you expect to 'f'ind a man' Abbey? 

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, forget - just for a day or two - about finding a man. That seems to be colouring your thinking, in rather bizarre ways!

[Moorea7]

/ before you became mrs / What does that mean, Abbey? 

[Prudie]

" before you became mrs the answers NO, now what's the question"

What does that mean? Does he think you're married?

Also as you get so much support on here I'm going to take the opposite view, you are absolutely horrible about this poor man, you are using him, leading him on and yet you think he's a total loser and way too old for you. It's not nice and one thing you can't explain away as part of your 'issues'. How devastated he'd be if saw the way you've spoken about him online over the last few months.

[Neveracrossword]

My reading of the old guy's comment was  that he was pointing out to Abbey that they' d been to loads of places before you became 'Mrs The Answer's No' - ie when she started turning down the invitations (partly because she was hoping to be involved with a real boyfriend very soon).

[newmodarmy]

I wondered if abbey meant he referred to her as "Mrs'the answers NO, now what's the question' ", meaning he felt she always answered in that way

[Countrylover]

I absolutely  agree with you Prudie.  I was appalled by the way others on here described him, etc.  I have said before on here that I feel sorry for him.  Abbey is using him.  I feel sorry fo.r any man she might 'find' 

[newmodarmy]

If the dog man doesn't know abbey has the learning difficulties and mental health and personal relationship issues she's told us about, he might assume she was interested in him, even if only as a temporary fill in until she finds a younger man.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey. stop wasting your time  thinking and planning what you could say, should say to the man. You say you're 'focussing on new things in life' - but I'm not sure what those are? A short while ago you were wondering about taking a part-time job... that would improve your life, no end, in so many ways! 

[newmodarmy]

Perhaps deep down, abbey, you are loving the attention from this man. We all like to feel wanted.